Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 is illustrated by the linear representation.
Overall, it is crystal clear that the number of jobs in healthcare was highest as compared to other jobs.
Having a quick glance, it is vivid that the number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960 which was inclined in 1980 and reached at 20 millions. After that it was declined a little and reached at 14 millions in 2020. In 1960 the jobs in agriculture was only 5 millions which was declined more and reached at 3 millions. Interestingly, in 1980 it was remained same till 2000 and after that it was decreased more by 1 million in 2020.
Moving towards the rest of the information the jobs in healthcare was in below 5 millions but it continuously rise in 1980 and 2000 and reached at above 10 millions. Then it was inclined in 2020 and stop at 15 millions. Jobs in retails was almost similar as healthcare. It was 15 millions in 2000 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent. While you identify trends for manufacturing and agriculture, the description of healthcare and retail is inaccurate and confusing. For instance, you state healthcare was 'below 5 millions' in 1960, but the graph shows it starting near zero. Furthermore, you claim retail was 'almost similar' to healthcare, yet the data points for these sectors differ significantly across the period. The overview is also weak; stating healthcare was the 'highest' is factually incorrect based on the provided graph, which shows manufacturing and retail often surpassing it. To improve, ensure you carefully verify data points and provide a more accurate summary of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Having a quick glance' and 'Moving towards the rest of the information' are somewhat unnatural in an academic context. Additionally, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly when jumping between sectors. While there is a basic logical flow, the lack of precise referencing and the repetitive nature of the sentence structures hinder the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'reached', 'declined', and 'inclined' (which is used incorrectly here). There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'linear representation' to describe a graph and 'it was remained same', which is grammatically incorrect. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure that your terminology is precise and appropriate for describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the jobs in agriculture was', 'it was remained same') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'it was inclined' instead of 'it increased'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors in tense or passive voice construction. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of past tense for historical data. Increasing the variety of sentence structures will also help demonstrate better control over grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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