Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The linear graph gives data about the share of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is crystal clear that jobs in healthcare had the most growth in terms of numbers.
Having a quick glance, it is vivid that the in 1960, manufacturing accounted for the most number of jobs with the number being around 15 million. It had a considerable growth after 1960 and reached a peak of 20 million jobs in 1980, after that the share of manufacturing gradually dropped and ended up at third in terms of numbr of jobs. The number of jobs in agriculture was around 5 million and it kept steadily decreasing in the following decades and ended up having the lowest share out of all others in 2020.
Moving towards the rest of the information, healthcare was at the lowest in 1960 as it only had below 5 million jobs in the economy.But it had a period of rapid growth from 1960 to 2020 and in 2020 it accounted for 15 million jobs in the economy.The growth of retail sector was similiar to healthcare. It started with around 5 million jobs in the economy in 1960 and reached a same level as healthcare in 2020 with around 15 million jobs in the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat simplistic and lacks a clear synthesis of the data. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. For instance, the description of the retail sector's growth is accurate but could be better integrated with the healthcare trend. The report meets the requirements of the task by selecting and reporting main features, but it lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moving towards the rest of the information' and 'Having a quick glance', though some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or informal. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing could be improved to avoid repetitive phrasing like 'in the economy' at the end of multiple sentences. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at using topic-specific language like 'accounted for', 'considerable growth', and 'rapid growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitive phrasing. For example, the phrase 'in the economy' is used repeatedly, which limits the lexical range. There is also a minor spelling error ('numbr'). To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more varied collocations and avoid repeating the same phrases to describe trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is consistently clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'it is vivid that the in 1960' (extra article) and 'reached a same level' (incorrect article usage). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some spacing issues after periods. The range of structures is sufficient for the task, but more complex, error-free sentences would be needed to achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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