Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The linear representation illustrates the number of employment sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that , Healthcare sector was continuously increasing until the end of period as compared to other sectors.
Looking at the healthcare job which was accounted for 16 millions in 2020 , before it roughly started at 3 millions in 1960 . This figured represent highest growth in this sector . Interestingly, retail sector initially at 6 million jobs by 1960 then it suddenly surged at 15 millions by 2020.
Moving towards the remaining data where in 1960 agriculture sector was recorded at 6 millions job then it was dramatically declined at 3 million and then it was at 2 millions by 2020. In contrast , manufacturing was noticed at 15 million by 1960 after it estimated 20 millions by 1980 then it was dropped to 14 millions which was shown zigzag pattern .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant trends. Some data points are slightly inaccurate or poorly integrated, such as the description of the manufacturing sector's 'zigzag pattern,' which is a subjective description rather than a precise reporting of the data. To improve, ensure that comparisons are more explicit and that the data is reported with greater precision, focusing on the start and end points as well as any notable fluctuations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'Moving towards the remaining data where in 1960...' and 'after it estimated 20 millions'. These transitions feel forced rather than natural. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases that connect ideas logically rather than just listing data points sequentially.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'linear representation' instead of 'line graph' and 'this figured represent' (grammatical error). The use of 'dramatically declined' and 'suddenly surged' shows an attempt to use descriptive language, but the collocation is sometimes imprecise. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'Healthcare sector was continuously increasing' (missing article), 'which was accounted for 16 millions' (incorrect passive voice), and 'it was dramatically declined' (incorrect passive construction). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and passive voice.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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