Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts information about the number of vacancies in four various fields of the economy in the united state from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing created the highest number of jobs in beginning, this place be taken by retail and healthcare sectors at the end. However, there were few vacancies available in the healthcare sector in initial years.
To begin with, 15 millions jobs were available in manufacturing sector in 1960, which was the highest in four fields. This pattern decreased dramatically in 2020 and reached 13 millions before climbed at 20 millions in 1980. Moreover, both agriculture and retail created more than millions employment in 1960.
On the one hand, the jobs created by retail increased significantly and reached more than 15 millions in 2020.. On the other hand, this pattern dropped gradually and reached around 2 millions at end for agriculture sector. Furthermore, healthcare only 2 millions jobs initially, which was dramatically raised and reached the highest number in 2020 at more than 15 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the statement that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980 is not supported by the visual data, and the description of the agriculture sector's decline is vague. While the overview captures the shift in dominance from manufacturing to retail and healthcare, the lack of precision in reporting figures hinders the clarity of the summary. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points mentioned are accurately extracted from the graph and that comparisons are more explicitly linked to the provided figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'On the one hand', and 'On the other hand' are used to structure the information. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes weakened by the inaccurate data reporting, which makes the comparison between sectors feel disjointed rather than cohesive.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'this place be taken' and 'reached the highest number in 2020 at more than 15 millions'. The use of 'millions' as a plural noun without a preceding number is a recurring error. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terminology like 'manufacturing', 'retail', and 'healthcare', the overall range is limited, and the errors in collocation and pluralisation occasionally make the text feel repetitive and slightly unnatural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the writing. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('this place be taken'), missing articles ('in beginning'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('healthcare only 2 millions jobs'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the double period at the end of the first sentence in the fourth paragraph. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free, and the range of structures remains somewhat basic.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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