Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the data of ratio of employment in four sectors such as Manufacturing, retails ,agriculture and healthcare in US between the year of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it can be seen from the graph that the healthcare department showed rapid increased in number of jobs from 1960 to 2020. The manufaturing sector started droping in empolyment after 1980. Moreover, the agriculture sector remained in very low ratio of jobs in all years of analysis.
Initially, from 1960 to 1980, the manufacturing department provided highest number of jobs but after that it started dropping in numbers which was 20 millions jobs in 1980 and only12 millions jobs at the end of 2020. However, heathcare sector showed increased number of jobs gradually from 1960 to 2020 which was only 2 millions to16 millions respectively.
Moreover, retail department also showed significant increased in jobs from 1960 to 2020 that was 6 millions to 16 millions. The agriculture department provided least jobs in 2020 which was about 5 million in 1960 and below this in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector is vague, stating it was 'below this in 2020' rather than providing a clear comparison or specific data point. While the main features are highlighted, the report lacks a more analytical approach to comparing the sectors against each other throughout the period. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant contrast between the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'Initially' helps guide the reader through the information. However, the referencing is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the general trends from the specific data points. To improve, ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother and that the relationship between the data points is more clearly articulated through more varied cohesive links.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for a clear description of the trends. There are some spelling errors, such as 'manufaturing', 'droping', 'empolyment', and 'heathcare', which are distracting. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms like 'increased' and 'dropping'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise collocations and varied synonyms for trends, such as 'experienced a steady climb' or 'underwent a significant contraction', while ensuring accurate spelling throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in US', 'in healthcare department'), incorrect preposition usage ('in the year of 1960'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('healthcare department showed rapid increased'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding articles and verb forms, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater precision.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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