Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The provided chart delineates the shift in the number of jobs in four divisions of the economy across the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is manifest that while healthcare and retail experienced an upward trajectory, manufacturing, and Agriculture underwent a significant decline, hitting their nadir in 2020.
In detail, looking at the initial perimeters in 1960, the metric for healthcare and retail stood at around 2.5% and 6% respectively, whereupon it experienced a sharp escalation, climbing exponentially to reach almost 11% and 14% separately in 2000. Subsequently, this figure plateaued for the remainder of the decade before both finishing at a historic high of 16% at the close of the period.
Conversely, a starkly opposite pattern was observed regarding the manufacturing and agriculture. Initially, at a commanding 15% and almost 6% individually its numbers plummeted progressively throughout the period. Although there was a marginal fluctuation between 1960 and 1980, the trend culminated in a final drop, with figures leveling off at a negligible 13% and almost 2% in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively covers the main features of the graph, identifying the key trends for all four sectors. You have successfully contrasted the growth in healthcare and retail with the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and highlights the most significant movements across the period. However, there is a slight inaccuracy in the data reporting; for instance, you mention manufacturing leveling off at 13% in 2020, whereas the graph shows a much lower figure. Ensure that data points are transcribed with greater precision to fully meet the requirements of a Band 8 or 9. Overall, the response is well-structured and addresses the prompt comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is smooth, and you make effective use of cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'Subsequently', and 'Although'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the growing sectors from the declining ones. The referencing is generally clear, and the flow of information is easy to follow. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between sentences is even more seamless and avoid minor mechanical repetition of structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using sophisticated terms like 'delineates', 'nadir', 'escalation', and 'plummeted'. This shows an awareness of style and precision. There are occasional minor issues with collocation, such as 'initial perimeters' (which is not the standard term for data points) and 'separately' (where 'respectively' would be more accurate). Despite these minor slips, the vocabulary is varied and contributes to a professional tone. Continuing to use less common lexical items accurately will help you reach the higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You use a variety of complex sentence structures, such as 'while healthcare and retail experienced an upward trajectory, manufacturing, and Agriculture underwent a significant decline'. There is good control over grammar and punctuation, and the majority of your sentences are error-free. There are a few minor slips, such as the unnecessary comma after 'manufacturing' and the inconsistent capitalization of 'Agriculture'. However, these errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. Your control over complex structures is a clear strength.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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