Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THAT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTION OF THE ECONOMY IN THE UNITED STATES FROM 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT MANUFACTURING OR RETAIL SECTOR HAVE HIGHEST JOBS . WHEREAS , HEALTHCARE RECORDED THE LOWEST VALUE .
AFTER ANALYSING THE GRAPH LOOKING AT MANUFACTURING SECTOR HAS 15 MILLION JOBS IN 1960 ,20 MILLION IN 1990 OR 17 MILLION IN 2000 AFTER THAT THEY DECLINED 5 MILLION JOBS IN 2020 . IN ADDITION , RETAIL BRANCH HAS 50 LAKH EMPLOYEES IN A YEAR 1960 AND THEY DOUBLED IN NEXT 2 DECADES WITH 1 CORE AND DONE A SIMILAR GROWTH SAME AS MANUFACTURING IN 1980 THEN REACHED 15 MILLION JOBS IN 2020 .
ON THE OTHER HAND AGRICULTURE ALSO SAME NUMBER OF EMPLOYEMENT OF RETAIL SECTOR IN 1960 AFTER THIS THEY INTERSECTED THE HEALTHCARE AND DROPPED 2 MILLION JOBS IN 1990 AND FOLLOWED A PERIOD OF STABILITY BETWEEN 2000 TO 2020 . MOREOVER , HEALTHCARE STARTED WITH 3 MILLION IN 1960 AND LITTLE RISE AFTER THIS THEY SHOWED A SECOND BIGGEST GROWTH WITH 15 MILLION JOBS IN 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the data reporting is inconsistent. While you identify the main trends, the accuracy of the figures is problematic. For instance, you mention '50 lakh' and '1 core', which are not standard units in IELTS Academic writing; you should use 'millions' consistently. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's decline is slightly inaccurate based on standard graph interpretation. To improve, ensure you select the most significant features rather than listing every data point, and maintain consistent units of measurement throughout the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'After analysing the graph looking at' are awkward and do not effectively link ideas. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the logical flow is hindered by repetitive sentence structures. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'highest', 'lowest', and 'growth'. The use of non-standard units like 'lakh' and 'core' is inappropriate for an international exam and negatively impacts your score. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'done a similar growth' instead of 'experienced similar growth'. To improve, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure your terminology is globally recognised.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing or retail sector have'), article usage, and tense consistency. Many sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'After analysing the graph looking at manufacturing sector has 15 million jobs'. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate, which impedes clarity. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.
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