Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph lines illustrates the information about the number of students in four sector of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

overall, Manufacturing has the highest point than other job. Retail had the increased gradually and healthcare had the lowest point in the figure.

in 1960, Manufacturing it was 5 millions after that in 1960 it was went up at 20 millions. and then this period has do down slowly at 10 millions in 2020.Retail stared by 5 to15 and then it was increased almost at 19 millions.

in 1960, we can see clear that agriculture was 5 mollions. in 2000 it was remain stable at 5 after that in 2020 this period in same line. healthcare began by 5 . after that it had increased rapidly at 14 in 2000. in 2020 it was went up at 17 millions attached with Retail. in this

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you identify the four sectors and provide some data points, the summary is incomplete and lacks a clear, cohesive overview of the trends. Several data points are inaccurate or poorly described (e.g., 'Manufacturing it was 5 millions'), and the analysis of the trends is fragmented. To improve, ensure you cover all categories clearly, provide accurate data comparisons, and write a more comprehensive overview that highlights the most significant trends rather than just listing numbers.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. Paragraphing is absent, and the flow of information is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'after that' and 'in 1960'. The lack of clear transitions between the different sectors and time periods hinders the overall readability. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks for different ideas and employ a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences and ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'went up' throughout the text. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'mollions' instead of 'millions' and 'stared' instead of 'started'. The phrasing is often unnatural, such as 'this period has do down slowly'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a broader range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained constant', and focus on accurate spelling and word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph lines illustrates'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'it was went up'), and sentence fragments. The sentence structures are mostly simple and lack the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb forms, and proofreading for punctuation and capitalization errors.

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