Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph provide the data on the amount of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare departments in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Although manufacturing offers highest number of employments at the start of the period, fell slightly at the end of the period. While figures for retail and healthcare increased significantly, the figure for agriculture saw a downward trend during the overall period.
The manufacturing zone started at 15 millions in 1960, saw a peak position at around 20 millions in 1980, before declining to roughly 16 millions in 2000 and finally reached at approximately 13 millions by 2000. However, agriculture started at just over 5 millions in 1960, fell down to around 3 millions in 1980, remained stable for next 20 years and reached at nearly 2 millions at the end of the period.
On the other hand, retail started at just over 5 millions in 1960, gradually increased and reached at approximately 15 millions in 2000, crossed manufacturing figure and reached at just over 15 millions in 2020. Similarly, the figure for healthcare started at under 3 millions in the start of the period, reached at around 15 millions in the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have selected key features, such as the peak in manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you state manufacturing reached 13 million in 2000, but the graph shows this occurred in 2020. Additionally, the overview is slightly disjointed due to the 'Although' structure. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are transcribed accurately from the graph and that the overview provides a more cohesive summary of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organised into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering the sectors. You use some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in focus. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing, such as the repetitive use of 'reached at' and 'started at'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise will help improve the flow and logical progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'gradually increased', and 'remained stable'. However, there is a lack of precision in word choice and some repetitive phrasing. For example, 'manufacturing zone' is not the most appropriate term for an economic sector, and the phrase 'reached at' is grammatically incorrect as 'reach' is a transitive verb. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding the repetition of basic verbs like 'reached' and 'started'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb patterns and prepositions. For example, 'The line graph provide' should be 'provides', and 'reached at' is incorrect usage. There are also issues with article usage, such as 'at the start of the period' versus 'in the start'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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