Band 8.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 8.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 8.0)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs available in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, employment in the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period. In contrast, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture declined. While manufacturing remained one of the largest employment sectors for most of the period, healthcare became the leading sector by 2020. Agriculture, meanwhile, was consistently the smallest employer.
In 1960, approximately 15 million people were employed in the manufacturing sector. This figure peaked at 20 million in 1980 before declining steadily to around 13 million by 2020. Regarding agriculture, about 6 million jobs were available in 1960. The number then fell to 3 million in 1980 and remained stable until 2000, after which it decreased further to roughly 2 million in 2020.
On the other hand, the retail and healthcare sectors experienced considerable growth throughout the period. In 1960, there were around 6 million jobs in retail and only 2 million in healthcare. By 1980, these figures had risen to 10 million and 5 million respectively. Employment in both sectors continued to increase, reaching approximately 15 million in retail and 16 million in healthcare by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 8.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.0 |
| Overall | 8.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5
The response is excellent. You have successfully identified all four sectors and provided a clear overview of the trends. You have selected key data points to support your descriptions, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the crossover point where healthcare became the leading sector. The comparison between the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing sectors (retail and healthcare) is well-executed. You have fully addressed all parts of the task, providing a comprehensive summary that highlights the main features and significant changes over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group the data effectively by trend. The progression of ideas is smooth, and you make good use of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'While', 'Regarding', and 'On the other hand'. These transitions help the reader follow the comparison between sectors effortlessly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones, which enhances the overall clarity of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic report. Phrases like 'increased significantly', 'declined steadily', and 'consistently the smallest employer' show precision. You also use comparative language effectively, such as 'respectively' and 'leading sector'. While the vocabulary is accurate and natural, it could be slightly more sophisticated to reach the highest band; for instance, using more varied synonyms for 'increased' or 'decreased' would add further polish. However, the current range is more than sufficient for the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0
Your control of grammar is very strong. You use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'While manufacturing remained... healthcare became...'). The punctuation is accurate, and there are no noticeable errors in tense or subject-verb agreement. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and the flow is natural. The use of past simple tense to describe historical data is consistent and correct throughout the response.
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