Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs available in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, employment in the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period. In contrast, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture declined. While manufacturing remained one of the largest employment sectors for most of the period, healthcare became the leading sector by 2020. Agriculture, meanwhile, was consistently the smallest employer.
In 1960, approximately 15 million people were employed in the manufacturing sector. This figure peaked at 20 million in 1980 before declining steadily to around 13 million by 2020. Regarding agriculture, about 6 million jobs were available in 1960. The number then fell to 3 million in 1980 and remained stable until 2000, after which it decreased further to roughly 2 million in 2020.
On the other hand, the retail and healthcare sectors experienced considerable growth throughout the period. In 1960, there were around 6 million jobs in retail and only 2 million in healthcare. By 1980, these figures had risen to 10 million and 5 million respectively. Employment in both sectors continued to increase, reaching approximately 15 million in retail and 16 million in healthcare by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.0 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response adequately addresses the task by summarizing the key trends in the job market across four sectors between 1960 and 2020. The student identifies the significant growth in the retail and healthcare sectors while highlighting the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, a slight improvement could be made by explicitly noting how these sectors compare towards the end of the period more clearly. Overall, the information selected and reported is relevant and presents an accurate overview of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The coherence and cohesion of the response are generally strong. The use of logical sequencing allows the reader to follow the trends easily. The use of contrastive phrases such as "In contrast" and comparative phrases like "On the other hand" effectively guide the reader through the text. Nonetheless, the introduction could benefit from a clearer outline of the specific job sectors discussed to enhance coherence further.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The lexical resource displayed in this response is adequate, with appropriate vocabulary choices to describe changes in job numbers. Terms like "significantly increased" and "considerable growth" are suited to the context. Some opportunities exist for enhancement, particularly with variations in vocabulary regarding job sectors or to describe changes more precisely. Overall, the range is satisfactory for an academic task but could be more varied.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0
The grammatical range and accuracy are commendable, with a mix of simple and complex sentences used effectively. The writer successfully employs different structures, such as passive voice and conditionals, indicating a strong grasp of English grammar rules. While there are minor errors, they do not hinder overall understanding. Continuing to refine complex sentence structures could enhance this aspect further.
Overall feedback
Your response demonstrates a good understanding of the graph and effectively summarizes the trends in job numbers across different sectors. The clarity in the overall structure helps convey your points well. To improve further, consider providing more explicit comparisons and contrasts between the sectors' changes towards the conclusion. Additionally, varying your vocabulary could enhance the richness of your writing, allowing you to convey more precise meanings and distinctions in trends. Overall, you are on track, but slight refinements could elevate your performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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