Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The presented graph depicts the information regarding the jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture as well as in healthcare in US during 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased whereas manufacturing and agriculture jobs followed a dramatic decreased during the mentioned period.

To begin with, in 1960 retail and health care had least number of jobs which was 6 millions and 2 millions respectively. It can higher their number with the passage of time during 1980 and 2000 that was 10,15 millions for retail and 5 millions , 11 millions for healthcare. It becomes 16 millions in 2020 for both retail and healthcare which was the highest number among all other jobs.

To further analyze, in contrast to retail and agriculture the number of jobs for manufacturing and healthcare in 1960 was the highest among all the other jobs that seemed to be 15 millions : 6 millions respectively. The jobs in agriculture drastically dropped in 2020 and reached to 2 millions. Similarly manufacturing steep forward in 1980 and reached the maximum limit of 20 millions. While it dropped to 14 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response provides a basic summary of the data presented in the graph; however, it is somewhat limited in detail and clarity. While it mentions the trends of job growth in retail and healthcare and declines in manufacturing and agriculture, specific figures are inconsistently reported. For example, stating that healthcare jobs reached '16 millions in 2020' lacks precision since it does not compare it correctly to others. More accurate comparisons could enhance the response. Overall, the task is addressed, but further development would strengthen it.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The coherence and cohesion of the response show some organization but lack clear logical progression and adequate linking phrases. The use of phrases like "To begin with" and "To further analyze" is beneficial, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Sentences sometimes feel disjointed, and some details become muddled, such as the discussion of job numbers. Improved structuring and more varied linking words would help the reader follow the writer's argument more easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The lexical resource demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary but contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Words such as "dramatic decreased" should instead be phrased as "dramatic decrease." Additionally, terms like "maximum limit" could be replaced with more appropriate words like "peak." Overall, while there is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, the incorrect phrases detract from the overall effectiveness of the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammatical range and accuracy are mixed. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect tense forms, which disrupt the flow of the text. For example, "it can be seen that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased" is correct in tense, but parts like "it can higher their number" are incorrect. Nevertheless, some sentences are grammatically correct. A more thorough proofreading would help catch these minor errors and improve overall clarity.

Overall feedback

Your response demonstrates a basic understanding of the information presented in the graph, with an overview of the main trends in job growth. However, to improve, focus on providing clearer details and accurate figures, ensuring that comparisons are precise. Enhance the coherence by organizing your response in a more logical structure, and using transition words effectively. Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary choice; this will help improve clarity and enhance the professionalism of your writing. Regular practice in these areas will lead to improvement in your writing score in the future.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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