Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph shows the data about the different categories of jobs in the US, namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, from 1960 to 2020. At a glance, healthcare and agriculture sectors offered more jobs as the years progressed.
To begin with, in manufacturing sector, there were 15 million jobs in 1960. Afterwards, the numbers increased significantly to 20 million in 1980. However, in 2020, it fell modestly to about 13 million. Retail and healthcare related jobs increased over the years. In 1960, there were about 6 million and 3 million jobs in retail and healthcare fields. The number increased steadily and reached just above 15 million in 2020 for both the sectors. In contrast, jobs related to agriculture decreased slowly as the years progressed. There were nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which decreased to about 3 million in 1980, and then the numbers remained stable till 2000. Finally, in 2020 the numbers declined to approximately 2.5 million.
In conclusion, as the years progressed number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased. While, the numbers fell significantly for agricultural jobs. There were decent number of jobs in manufacturing sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response effectively summarizes the main information from the graph, describing trends in job numbers across four sectors. It highlights significant increases in retail and healthcare jobs while also noting the decline in agriculture jobs. However, the introduction slightly lacks clarity, as it could explicitly state the graph's trend about sector jobs over time. Some comparisons were made, but more explicit connections between these sectors would strengthen the achievement of the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The coherence of the response is generally good, with a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transition phrases could be improved for smoother flow. For example, using linking words like "in contrast" between sectors can clarify comparisons. The conclusion could also better tie back to the data trends discussed, reinforcing the overall narrative of the job market changes.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used in the response is adequate but shows limited variety. Terms like "significantly" and "increased" were correctly applied, yet a broader range of descriptors for trends would enhance lexical resource. Phrases such as "offered more jobs" could be replaced with alternatives like "provided more employment opportunities." Overall, while the vocabulary is appropriate, it could be more precise and varied.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The grammatical range is sufficient for the task, with mostly accurate sentence structures. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement, as in "manufacturing sector" which should be "the manufacturing sector." Additionally, phrases like "as the years progressed number of jobs in retail..." should include a comma for clarity. Improving attention to these details will enhance grammatical accuracy and overall fluency. Such improvements could also contribute to a stronger impression in higher band scores.
Overall feedback
This response provides a solid overview of the job sector trends in the US from 1960 to 2020. The structure is clear, and the main points are presented logically, which supports the task achievement criteria. However, addressing coherence issues with better transitional phrases and ensuring more varied vocabulary would greatly improve the overall effectiveness of the writing. Focusing on grammatical accuracy will also enhance the response. Consider practicing more complex sentence structures and expanding your vocabulary to include precise terms related to the task.
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