Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compares the employment figures in four different sectors of economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in the US over the period of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing sector had the considerably highest number of jobs then any other sector until after 2000. Retail and healthcare sectors followed the similar trend in gradually increasing number jobs. Agriculture kept declining throughout the years and had the lowest number of jobs over the period.
Manufacturing sector had the 15 million jobs in 1960 which was the highest number of jobs then other three sectors. It remained the highest over the years. In 1980 rate goes to the highest number of 20 million, afterward it kept gradually decreasing to below 15 million in 2020. However, Agriculture had almost 6 million jobs in 1960 and rate kept declining over the period and had almost 2 million jobs in 2020 which is the lowest number of jobs compared to others.
Retail and healthcare sectors followed similar trends, the rate kept gradually increasing throughout the years. In 1960, healthcare sector had the lowest number jobs almost 2 millions then gradually increased up to just above 15 millions in 2020. In retail sector the rate was just above the 5 million in 1960 and kept increasing to the same rate at just above 15 million as the healthcare sector in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. You successfully identified the peak of manufacturing and the contrasting decline in agriculture, as well as the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals, rather than just listing data. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the main trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data points selected are consistently accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more integrated throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific sector details. You use some cohesive devices such as 'however', 'afterward', and 'in the same rate', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. To improve, try to use a wider range of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'the same rate') is always precise to avoid ambiguity.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment figures', 'sectors', and 'gradually increasing'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'considerably highest' (should be 'by far the highest') and 'rate goes to' (should be 'the figure reached'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Incorporating more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and using more precise collocations would enhance your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the agriculture') and verb tenses ('rate goes to' instead of 'the rate went to'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'Retail and healthcare sectors followed the similar trend in gradually increasing number jobs'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of definite/indefinite articles will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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