Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The illustration depicts the quantity of the labour force in the marketing, retail, agriculture, and health from 1960 to 2020

The steady flow observed in the health sector, where in 1960 the job market was about 2 million after continuing at 5 million,there was a sudden rise of about 10 million in 2000. However,from 2000 to 2005,there was only thge chang of 5% increment and figures rose to about 15million.In comparison,in manufacturing there is continuation decline after 1980 for example there were 15 million job holders from 1960 to 1980,but from 1980 to 2020 there is steady decline of about 11 milllion

oOn the other hand,retail sector have alsa steady uprise as in 1980 it was 5 million the increase upto 15 million in 2000 and rose to about 16 in 2000.In comparison,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the summary is incomplete; it fails to cover all four sectors mentioned in the prompt, and the description of data is fragmented and lacks a clear overview or summary of trends. The information provided is often confusing, such as the contradictory figures for the retail sector. To improve, you must ensure all data categories are addressed, provide a clear introductory overview of the main trends, and ensure the response meets the minimum length requirement to allow for full development of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks logical organization and progression. There is no clear paragraph structure, and the text ends abruptly mid-sentence. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'In comparison' without a clear logical link to the previous point. The lack of proper punctuation and paragraph breaks makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, you should organize your response into a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs. Use transition words like 'furthermore', 'conversely', or 'in contrast' to connect your ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors such as 'thge', 'chang', 'alsa', and 'uprise'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for example, using 'steady flow' and 'steady uprise' is imprecise. You need to use a wider range of academic vocabulary to describe data, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a sharp increase', or 'declined gradually'. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning specific collocations for describing graphs will help you achieve a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail sector have alsa steady uprise'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, making the text difficult to parse. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the control over basic grammar is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using correct punctuation. Practice writing complete, error-free sentences before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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