Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors in the US namely: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and health care between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, at the beginning of the period manufacturing constituted the highest number of jobs(15million) whereas healthcare contributed with the lowest number of jobs, but at the end of the period it overtook manufacturing.
Considering manufacturing, it had the highest number of jobs until 2000 and it peaked at around 20 million in 1980. Then, it witnessed a gradual decline to reach about 13 million in 2020. In contrast, the health care had the lowest jobs in 1960 then it started to increase gradually to be 5 million in 1980. After that, it rose dramatically to reach its peak in 2020.
Retail and agriculture had the same starting point at approximately 5 million. However, retail grew steadily till 2020 while agriculture started to decline steadily to be about 2.5 million then it remained stable from 1980 to 2000 and this sector provided the lowest number of jobs at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the graph, noting trends in jobs across four sectors. The candidate accurately states that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs initially but was overtaken by healthcare by the end of the period. However, the response could benefit from more detailed comparisons, particularly regarding retail and agriculture, to enhance clarity. Overall, the task is adequately addressed, with key data points highlighted, earning a strong score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The organization of the response is clear, with a logical flow from the introduction to the detailed descriptions of each sector. However, transitions between sectors could be smoother; for example, using linking phrases when shifting focus from one sector to another would enhance coherence. The conclusion, while informative, could be more succinct and direct. Overall, it is coherent but has room for improvement in cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary demonstrates good range, with terms associated with job statistics such as "constituted," "overtook," and "growing steadily." There are some repetitive phrases and relatively simplistic expressions like "low number of jobs." The candidate should aim for more varied and precise lexical choices. For instance, using 'substantial' instead of 'high' could enhance the quality of descriptions. Overall, the lexical resource is solid but can improve with richer vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
Grammatical accuracy is generally strong; however, there are minor errors such as 'the health care had the lowest jobs' which should be corrected to 'healthcare had the lowest number of jobs.' Sentence structures are correctly formed, but varied structures could be employed for better complexity. Despite these small errors, the grammatical range and accuracy are sufficient for a good score.
Overall feedback
Your response shows a good understanding of the trends in job sectors over time, clearly identifying shifts between sectors. To improve, focus on making smoother transitions between ideas to enhance coherence. Additionally, use more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and strengthen your descriptions. Pay attention to grammatical details, especially around article usage and plural forms. Overall, your response is effective but refining these areas could help elevate your score further.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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