Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates and compares the data of employment in United States economy between 1960, and 2020, measured in Millions.
Overall, Manufacturing displays the highest numbers throughout the period. Retail started from low numbers, but it grew significantly high proportion reaching to its peak by the end, whereas, Agriculture experienced the greatest decline throughout decades, while healthcare experience a steady and balanced increase by the end.
Looking closely to the details, Manufacturing started from 15 million which surged to 20 million in 1980, then gradually experienced decrease in 2000, which comes back to 13 million by the end. Furthermore, Retail started from 6 million, which grew massive number of increase nearly 16 million employment by the end.
In contrast, Healthcare also grew steadily and experience immense numbers started very low just from 2 million jobs, but reached to the peak of 15 million in 2020. However, Agriculture began it from 6 million jobs in 1960, which later fell to only 2 million, that indicated most of the decline throughout the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in Agriculture and the growth in Retail and Healthcare. The overview is clear and highlights the key features effectively. However, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise; for instance, stating Manufacturing 'comes back to 13 million' is slightly vague, and the description of Retail as having a 'massive number of increase' is not standard academic phrasing. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical to reach a higher band. Overall, the response successfully addresses the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific data points. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Furthermore', and 'In contrast' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly clunky, which occasionally affects the flow of information. Overall, the structure is sound and supports the reader's understanding of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'illustrates', 'surged', 'declined', and 'proportion' used correctly. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'grew massive number of increase' and 'experienced the greatest decline throughout decades'. These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight a lack of precision in using more sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, focus on using nouns and verbs that collocate naturally in an academic context, such as 'a significant increase' rather than 'massive number of increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'Healthcare also grew steadily and experience immense numbers' (should be 'experienced') and 'Agriculture began it from 6 million' (unnecessary 'it'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor errors with commas and tense consistency (e.g., 'experience' instead of 'experienced'). The majority of sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these small errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band for grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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