Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph display the number of jobs in four deparments of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Healthcare sector had less opportunities of jobs throughout the period and fighure shows consistent downward trend. Meanwhile, retail and agriculture jobs number gradually rose and there rate were uniform in 2020. Manufacturing, on the other hand, was in highest level, but with the time it declined steadily.
To begin with, manufacturing jobs in economy was highest in number to 15 millions in 1960, and there level was increased to 20 millions in 1980 but then number was decreased to approximately 13 millions individuals get less opportunity in that sector. However, health care sector initially had just above 5 milion jobs in economy and there scope declined throught the same period.
Additionally, Retail sector were gradually incread to 16 million in 2020 and agricultre also have more chances to get the job to 20 millions in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing trends over the period. However, the analysis is significantly hampered by inaccurate reporting of the data. For instance, you state that the healthcare sector showed a 'consistent downward trend,' whereas the graph indicates a clear upward trajectory. Similarly, your description of manufacturing and agriculture trends contradicts the provided visual information. While you attempt to select main features, the lack of accuracy in interpreting the data means you have not fully addressed the requirements of the task. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written summary with the visual data to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Meanwhile,' and 'Additionally' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes confusing due to the factual inaccuracies mentioned previously. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'there rate were uniform,' where the pronoun usage is imprecise. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that the logical flow between sentences is supported by accurate data interpretation.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'number of jobs,' 'increased,' and 'declined.' There are also several spelling errors, such as 'deparments,' 'fighure,' 'milion,' 'throught,' 'incread,' and 'agricultre.' These errors, combined with awkward phrasing like 'individuals get less opportunity in that sector,' indicate a lack of control over word choice and spelling. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable') and proofreading your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph display,' 'Healthcare sector had,' 'Retail sector were') and article usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'there level was increased' and 'there rate were uniform.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing full stops and commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly before nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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