Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph indicates the information about number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the USA from 1960 to 2000.
Overall, it is crystal clear that jobs in manufacturing and agriculture showed a downward trend. However, employment in retail and healthcare indicates an upward trend.
In the initial stage manufacturing jobs in the manufacturing started from the higher which is 15 million and reached at the peak by 1980 of 20 million jobs. afterward it showed a gradual decline by the end of 2020. However agriculture also saw a decline and get stabilized stabilized. by the end.
Employment in the retail started from almost 6 million and show a increament gear by year on the other hand, healthcare started from the least position and show in the overtake Agriculture in year 1980 by 5 millon jobs and scored same position as retail by securing more than 15 millions jobs by the end of 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The description of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate, as the graph shows it starting at 15 million, peaking, and then declining, but the student's description of the timeline is imprecise. Additionally, the data points for agriculture and retail are described in a way that lacks precision, and the term 'stabilized' is used without clear evidence from the graph. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of specific data points for the end of the period for all categories limits the development of the response. To reach a higher band, ensure that all key data points are accurately reported and compared.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a clear introduction and an overview. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition 'However' is used frequently, and some sentences lack logical flow, such as the final sentence which attempts to combine too much information. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'increament' instead of 'increment' and 'gear by year' instead of 'year by year'. The phrase 'scored same position' is unnatural in this context. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'downward trend' and 'upward trend', the overall range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring correct spelling of technical terms related to data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'number of jobs in four sector' (missing plural), 'show a increament' (incorrect verb tense), and 'show in the overtake' (incorrect preposition and verb usage). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of full stops. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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