Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided chart demonstrates the numbers of jobs and fluctuations in those numbers of jobs in different timespans starting from 1960 to 2020. The chart covers 4 sectors where it shows the said data as described following;

The first sector is the manufacturing sector where in 1960 there were 15 million jobs and which rose up to 20 million jobs in the year 1980 which was the highest amount of jobs in this sector, after 1980 it shows the fall of jobs in this sector making it approximately 16 million jobs in 2000, and more less jobs in the year 2020; less than 15 million jobs or approximately 13 million. whereas the Retail and agriculture healthcare sector started on the chart starts at slightly more than 5 million jobs in 1980 moreover the healthcare sector started of less than 5 million or approximately 2.5 million jobs in 1960;

The Retail sector and healthcare sector after 1980 saw a spike and boom in the jobs after 1960, the Retail jobs rose to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000 after which a slight rise in a graph line is being seen making it slightly more than 15 million in 2020, the graph line for the healthcare demonstrated the same data spikes but with lower values; from 5 million jobs in 1980 to slightly more than 10 million jobs in 2000 and finally ending at the same point as Retail jobs of slightly above the 15 million mark in 2020,

The agriculture sector was the only sector shown in the graph which bears the major dump in the jobs from slightly above 5 millions jobs in 1960 to less than 5 million or approximately 3 millions jobs in 1980 which was slightly decreased again or approximately 2.85 million jobs in 2000 and followed by another dump making it approximately 2 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have identified the main trends for all four sectors, which is positive. However, the response lacks a clear overview, which is a requirement for a high band score in Task 1. An overview should summarise the most significant trends (e.g., the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture) without citing specific data points. Additionally, the structure is somewhat repetitive, and the description of the data is occasionally confusing, particularly when grouping sectors. To improve, ensure you provide a distinct summary paragraph that highlights the overall patterns before detailing the specific figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the internal flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and run-on sentences. For example, the second paragraph is a single, very long sentence that makes it difficult to follow the comparison between sectors. While you use some cohesive devices like 'whereas' and 'moreover', they are sometimes used incorrectly or placed awkwardly. The progression of ideas is not always logical, as the transition between the manufacturing sector and the other sectors is abrupt. Improving your use of punctuation and breaking down complex ideas into shorter, clearer sentences would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You rely heavily on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of jobs' and 'sector'. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'major dump' to describe a decline, which is informal and inappropriate for an academic report. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' (e.g., 'soared', 'climbed') and 'decrease' (e.g., 'plummeted', 'declined'), and ensure that your terminology is formal and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the healthcare sector started of less than 5 million'), run-on sentences, and incorrect preposition usage. The lack of proper sentence boundaries makes the text feel fragmented. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structure and punctuation, particularly the use of full stops to separate distinct ideas. Reducing the number of errors will allow your points to be communicated more clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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