Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line chart illustrates the number of jobs available in different sectors which includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United States from the year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of opportunities to work kept on increasing between 1960 and 2020 for the healthcare and retail sectors. On the other hand, initially manufacturing industry saw a rise in number of jobs, however; after the initial few years the number of jobs kept on decreasing till 2020. Agriculture sector never saw increase in jobs between the given years.
Healthcare sector had about 2 million, whereas retail sector had 6 million jobs in 1980. Nevertheless, both of the industries saw a large increase in available jobs throughout the given timeline. Both industries reached peak in terms of job availability in 2020, with 16 million jobs available across each sector. Healthcare sector had 5 million and retail sector had 10 million jobs in 1980. In 2000, the number of jobs increased to 11 million and 15 million in healthcare and retail sectors respectively.
Initially, in 1960 manufacturing industry had 15 million jobs which were the highest as compared to all other sectors in the same year. Moreover, the number increased to 20 million in 1980, after this the number of jobs kept on declining reaching 13 million in 2020. Conversely, the number of jobs in agriculture sector were 6 million in 1960 and kept on reducing reaching just 2 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are some inconsistencies in the data reporting. For instance, you mention healthcare had 2 million jobs in 1980, then later state it had 5 million in 1980. These contradictory figures hinder the clarity of your summary. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are checked for accuracy against the graph to avoid confusing the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Nevertheless', and 'Conversely' helps to guide the reader through the comparisons. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal consistency of the data within the paragraphs could be improved to ensure a smoother flow of information.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'illustrates', 'opportunities', 'declining', and 'respectively'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some phrasing is slightly repetitive (e.g., 'number of jobs' is used frequently). The word choice is generally accurate and appropriate for an academic report. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are clear, there are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'the number of jobs in agriculture sector were' (should be 'was') and 'both of the industries saw a large increase' (should be 'both industries'). Punctuation is generally handled well, though there is a misuse of a semicolon in the second paragraph. The errors present do not impede communication, but more consistent control over subject-verb agreement would elevate the score.
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