Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph below illustrates the information about the number of employees in four phases of the economy in the america between year 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that job of retail stands at the highest point despite it starts from lowest while lowest profession is named as agriculture.

To begin with, retail job starts its journey from 1960 with low level of 2 million however it considerably increases and stuck at 15 million at its peak in 2020 while agriculture started with well reputation in 1960 than retail ,nevertheless after that it fell down moreover becomes atleast 2 million job requirements.

By turning into other sector, manufacturing phase has substantially huge place at the beginning year of 1960 at 15 million however afterthat it faced a experienced loss therefore it reached less than two sectors with which it is highest than in starting as well as it stands at 13 million in 2020 whereas healthcare sector als

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to fully address the task. While it identifies some trends, the description is incomplete as the text ends abruptly mid-sentence, leaving the healthcare sector unaddressed. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to grammatical issues. Key features are mentioned, but the lack of completion prevents a full summary of the data. To improve, ensure all categories are covered and the report is finished logically. The data points are sometimes imprecise, such as 'at least 2 million', which does not accurately reflect the graph's specific trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow is hampered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'By turning into other sector' are unnatural and do not effectively guide the reader. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the comparison between sectors. The abrupt ending significantly disrupts the coherence of the final section. To improve, use more standard cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Conversely' and ensure each paragraph has a clear, logical conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'job of retail', 'phases of the economy', and 'faced a experienced loss'. These errors occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. The range of vocabulary is narrow, relying on basic descriptors rather than academic terminology suitable for describing graphs (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked'). Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise nouns and verbs will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede readability. There are issues with article usage ('in the america'), subject-verb agreement ('it starts from lowest'), and tense consistency. Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, correct use of articles, and ensuring that your verb tenses accurately reflect the timeline of the data provided in the graph.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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