Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of jobs in four sectors the U.S. economy from 1960 to 2020.

overall, manufacturing was the largest job sector initially but then decreased. Retail and healthcare increased whereas agriculture declined steadily.

In 1960, the number of manufacturing jobs stood at 15 million while in 1980, it increased to about 20 million. But it steadily decreased in 2000 and 2020.

In 1960, the number of retail jobs was approximately 6 million and it then sharply increased and reached 15 million 2000 while it steadily increased at the end of the period represented 16 million in 2020.

In 1960, the number of healthcare jobs stood at 2.5 approximately its steadily reached to 5 million in 1980 whereas it's shot up for the next two years and reached around 16 million in 2000 and 2020 respectively.

In 1960, the number of agriculture jobs were 6 million it decreased slightly to around 2.5 million in 1980 but then remained relatively stable approximately 2.5 million in 2000and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview. You have selected key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the report lacks a clear, cohesive summary paragraph. While you mention the trends in the introduction, the overall summary is quite brief. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed comparison between the sectors at the start and end of the period. The data points are generally accurate, but ensure that all figures are clearly linked to the specific years mentioned to avoid ambiguity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, you start almost every paragraph with 'In 1960'. To achieve a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Subsequently', 'Following this trend'). Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'it's shot up for the next two years', where the timeline reference is confusing. Improving the flow between sentences would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'steadily decreased', 'sharply increased', and 'remained relatively stable'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'it's shot up for the next two years' (which is factually incorrect based on the graph) and 'its steadily reached to 5 million'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'accounted for', and ensure that your word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the number of agriculture jobs were 6 million') and punctuation (e.g., '2000and 2020'). There are also issues with missing articles and awkward phrasing, such as '2.5 approximately'. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your sentence structures are varied. Using more complex structures correctly, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, would help demonstrate better control over your grammar.

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