Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The linear chart defines the information about the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US region begin from 1960 and end at 2020.

This graph shows the info of four sectors and the employment provided by each sector in millions.in the beginning the manufacturing field provide the most number of jobs and the other two are Retail and Agriculture which shares the same number of employment to 6million people. On the other hand the Healthcare is not that popular in that time as we can see that had the fewest number of employees.

In the beginning the manufacturing sector is leading by the huge number of 15 million in all these sectors. And it shows the increment in the numbers of employees till1980. But for some reasons it started declining and by 2020 ends up at below 15 million.while the retail and Agriculture sectors had the same numbers of just above 5 million but retail shows the handsome steady rose. In contrast agriculture fall to 2 million by 2020. As shown in the numbers healthcare started lowest from all but with time it shows the huge jump in the number of employment it provides and ends at the same number as retail which is surprising.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You successfully highlighted the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the response lacks precision in reporting data points. For instance, stating that manufacturing ended 'below 15 million' is vague when the graph clearly shows a specific trend. To reach a higher band, ensure you include more specific data points from the graph to support your descriptions, and avoid informal language like 'for some reasons' or 'handsome steady rose', which are not appropriate for an academic report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction followed by body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. Phrases like 'In the beginning' are used twice, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. While the overall progression is clear, the lack of varied linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'whereas') makes the flow feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices will help the ideas connect more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors such as 'huge jump', 'handsome steady rose', and 'not that popular'. These are not standard academic collocations. Additionally, there are some word choice errors, such as 'defines the information' instead of 'illustrates the data' and 'US region' instead of 'US economy'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'significant increase', 'gradual decline', or 'fluctuated'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing field provide', 'healthcare started lowest'), missing articles ('in the US region'), and punctuation errors (missing spaces after periods, e.g., 'millions.in'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring proper sentence punctuation.

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