Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The following line graph illustrates the trends of contribution of four sectors in the US economy since 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing have undergone significant fall in the graph. However, Healthcare seemed to contribute highest number of jobs in the economy and had faced a massive boost in the depicted data.
At first, Manufacturing had significant upper hand contributing 15 million jobs in the market and peaked at 20 million employment opportunities in the economy. Even though the strong start but faced a massive downgrade of only 12 million career opportunities. Moreover, Retail sector have undergone under a massive growth peaked at 15 million positions despite the low starting point of 5 million.
On addition, Agriculture seemed to face a constant downward trend from 5 million to 2 million impact on employment drive in the GDP. Besides, Healthcare had flourished in that time period being on a constant hike who have created 15 million opportunities regardless of a slow start at 1.5 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. The overview provides a clear summary of the most significant changes, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For example, stating manufacturing 'peaked at 20 million' and then 'downgrade of only 12 million' is confusing; it is unclear if this refers to the final figure or the amount of change. To improve, ensure that every trend mentioned is clearly supported by accurate data points from the graph, and avoid vague phrasing like 'impact on employment drive'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'On addition' (though 'In addition' would be more natural). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition 'At first' is not ideal for describing a long-term trend from 1960 to 2020. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise will help the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant fall', 'massive boost', and 'constant downward trend'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'undergone under a massive growth' is grammatically incorrect, and 'downgrade' is not the most appropriate term for a decrease in job numbers. Additionally, 'impact on employment drive' is awkward. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations related to data trends, such as 'experienced a sharp decline' or 'witnessed a steady increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Manufacturing have undergone', 'Healthcare seemed to contribute highest number'), incorrect preposition usage ('contribution... since 1960 to 2020'), and awkward phrasing ('who have created 15 million opportunities'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional phrases will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
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