Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph depicts the amount of jobs in 4 areas of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is quite evident from the graph that manufacturing had the most jobs from the start till 2005. Jobs in retail and healthcare sectors kept rising and topped with the similar number of 16 mil jobs, in 2020. While, agriculture started from the same place as retail but ended with least amount of posts.
Manufacturing started with 15 million jobs in 1960 and rocketed to 20 million jobs in a decade. It is the highest number on the chart. In the coming years this number started to decline. The amount of positions went from 20 to 13 mil in just two decades. Retail started from 6 mil only but kept gradually increasing throughout the years. In 2020 it had around 15-16 mil jobs.
Healthcare is the one that showed the most growth. Starting from 2 mil jobs, the least, and reaching the same number as retail in 2020, which is the highest in 2020. Agriculture started from 6 mil. Then decreased to 4 mil in 1980. It was levels of till 2000 then again dropped to 3 mil. The least on the chart.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while it mentions the end points, it could more effectively highlight the contrasting trajectories of the sectors. The data reporting is generally accurate, though the description of agriculture as 'levels of till 2000' is grammatically unclear and lacks precision. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the key differences and similarities across the entire period rather than just focusing on the start and end points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific sector details. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'While,' 'In the coming years,' and 'Then,' though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. To improve, try to vary the cohesive devices further and ensure that referencing between sentences is smoother, particularly when comparing the sectors to one another.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some effective word choices like 'rocketed,' 'gradually increasing,' and 'decline.' However, there are some inaccuracies and informal phrasing, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'), 'topped with the similar number,' and 'posts.' The phrase 'It was levels of till 2000' is awkward and lacks lexical precision. Expanding the range of vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would help elevate the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs,' and the sentence 'It was levels of till 2000' is structurally incomplete. There are also minor punctuation and article errors throughout. The control of grammar is sufficient to communicate the main points, but more consistent accuracy in complex structures and better attention to subject-verb agreement would be required for a higher band.
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