Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line chart illustrates figures of jobs in millions in 4 economical industries( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that retail and healthcare departments become more popular at the end of the period while manufacturing and agriculture become less popular. Manufacturing sector shows a dramatic decrease in offering jobs by time.

The sectors that increase in popularity are retail and healthcare. In 1960, retail sector begin with offering over 5 million jobs and the demand rose significantly till 2000 and after that it increase steadily to reach its highest peak of more than 15 million. Same sort of trend is shown by healthcare industry, meaning it surge magnificently and reach at the same level of retail.

The sectors that decrease in popularity are manufacturing sector and agriculture. Manufacturing area starting with highest fractions of jobs drop considerably to less than 15 million despite a little rise in 1980. Agriculture sector started with more than 5 million jobs in 1960. Although jobs get to decline and reach the level of approximately 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and highlights the key shifts over the period. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by a lack of precision in describing the data. For instance, stating that the healthcare sector 'surge[d] magnificently' is somewhat informal and lacks the analytical tone required for Task 1. Additionally, some data points are described vaguely, such as 'highest fractions of jobs', which does not accurately reflect the graph's data. To improve, ensure that comparisons are more specific and use more objective language to describe the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from the growing sectors to the declining ones. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Although', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and there is occasional awkward phrasing, such as 'Same sort of trend is shown by healthcare industry'. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is grouped logically, which supports the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'economical industries', 'dramatic decrease', and 'steadily'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'economical industries' (should be 'economic sectors'), 'departments' (referring to sectors), and 'surge magnificently' (which is stylistically inappropriate for a formal report). The use of 'popular' to describe job sectors is also slightly inaccurate; 'prevalent' or 'significant' would be better choices. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'retail sector begin' (should be 'began'), 'it increase steadily' (should be 'it increased'), and 'jobs get to decline' (should be 'jobs declined'). There are also minor issues with articles, such as 'in United States' (should be 'in the United States'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. A greater focus on consistent tense usage and accurate article placement is needed.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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