Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph describe the amount of jobs in four different category in US from 1960 to 2020. Amount of jobs are measure in millions.
Overall, manufacture having the highest amount of jobs in the starting. Meanwhile, Healthcare sector saw a sharp growth from other sector.
In 1960, manufacture sector was the highest job giving sector of about 15 million and peaked at 20 million in 1980, after then, there is only decrease in the amount of jobs. Meanwhile, agriculture sector started at around 5 million jobs, but has sudden decrease till 1980. After then, this sector has the least amount of jobs by 2020, which is around 3 million.
In contrast, retail was at the starting point of 5 million jobs at 1960, but was having the sharp increase till 2000, speed became steady increase after 2000. Healthcare was at lowest on the starting, which was about 2 million. But saw a highest growth among all.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped and lacks a clear synthesis of the data. While you mention the manufacturing peak and the growth of healthcare, the description of the trends is somewhat mechanical. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant shifts (e.g., the crossover between sectors) rather than just listing individual trends. Additionally, some data points, such as the specific figures for the retail sector in 2000, are omitted, which limits the precision of your reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical (e.g., 'Meanwhile' is used twice in close proximity). The transition between sentences could be smoother; for instance, the jump from the manufacturing sector to the agriculture sector lacks a clear linking phrase. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by grouping related information more effectively to show a clearer progression of ideas throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sharp growth', 'peaked', and 'steady increase'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'job giving sector' instead of 'job-creating sector' or 'employment sector'. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'manufacture' instead of 'manufacturing'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points but lacks the flexibility required for a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The given line graph describe', 'Amount of jobs are measure') and missing articles ('in US', 'at lowest'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring they are error-free would significantly improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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