Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE PRESENTED MULTI LINE GRAPH DEPICT THE INFORMATION OF DIFFRENT JOB CATEGORIES IN THE US ECONOMY FROM 1960 TO 2020. THE DATA ARE GIVEN IN MILLIONS.
TO BEGIN WITH, THE MANIUFACTURING SECTRO ACCOUNTED BY 15 MILLIONS JOBS IN 1960. HOWEVER, IN THE HEALTHCARE CATEGORY THERE WERW ONLY 2 MILLIONS JOBS. AFTER TWO DECADES, THE MANUFACTURING CATEGORY SLIGHTLY INCREASD AT 20 MILLIONS JOBS. WHILE 5 MILLIONS JOBS ACCOUNTED BY THE HEALTHCARE SECTOR. DURING 1980 TO 2020 JOBS UNDER MANUFATURING SUDDENLY WENT DOWN ABOUT 18 MILLIONS. HOWEVER, THE HEALTHCARE SECTOR JOBS ARE DRASTICALLY INCREASED OVER 15 MILLONS.
MOVE TOWARDS REST OF THE INFORMATION, THE RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE SECTORS ACOOUNTED BY 6 MILLIONS JOBS, AFTER THAT IN 1960 TO 2000 THE RETAIL SECTOR GRADUALLY WENT UP AROUND 15 MILLIONS JOBS. THEN IT SLIGHTLY ROSE AT 16 MILIIONS JOBS IN 2020. WHEREAS, IN 1980 AGRICULTURE CATEGORY DECREASED AT 7 MILLIONS. AFTERWARDS, IT WAS STEADELY DECLINE TILL 2020 ABOUT 2 MILLIONS.
OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THE HIGHEST JOBS HIKE NOTED IN THE HEALTHCARE SECTORE. WHILE THE LOWEST JOBS DATA ACCOUNTED BY AGRICULTURE CATEGORY.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating that manufacturing 'suddenly went down about 18 millions' is imprecise, and the overview is somewhat simplistic. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data reporting and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between sectors (e.g., comparing the relative sizes of the sectors at specific points) limits the score. The response addresses the task requirements but lacks the analytical depth expected for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, which provides a logical structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'Overall', but they are often used mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., 'Move towards rest of the information'). The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly when transitioning between sectors. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and awkward phrasing. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the internal cohesion within paragraphs requires more variety and better control to achieve a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sectors', and 'categories'. There are frequent spelling errors such as 'MANIUFACTURING', 'SECTRO', 'WERW', 'INCREASD', 'MANUFATURING', 'MILIIONS', and 'STEADELY'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the lack of precision and the high frequency of spelling mistakes indicate a limited range that struggles to convey information with the necessary accuracy for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The data are given', 'healthcare sector jobs are drastically increased'), incorrect preposition usage ('accounted by'), and awkward sentence construction. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors in basic grammar are persistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors is high, and they occur in both simple and attempted complex sentences. Significant improvement in basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure is required.
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