Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Task - 1

The graph below illustrate information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

First of all, the manufacturing has highest percentage compares to other three and end with negative. Retail has lowest at the beggining but shows good result at the end. Agriculture fell slightly the lowest & ending.

Healthcare started with the lowest and end with the highest.

First of all, The number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 percent in 1960. experinced an upward trend by 20 percent in 1980. And showed a downward trend by the percent 13 in 2000 and fell slightly by 12% in 2020. It shows good result highest percentage at first and end with bad terms.

Secondly, Retail began with 6 percent in 1960.

and rose 10 percent in 1980 after that experinced an upward trend by 15 percent in 2000. Lastly climbed significantly by 17 percent in year 2020. started with lowest ended with highest.

Moreover, Agriculture saw its most dramatically decrease in [redacted phone].

Therefore, Healthcare shows negative increase at beggining and rose slightly with highest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear overview or a coherent summary of the main trends. The information is presented in a fragmented manner, and several key features are either misidentified or described using inaccurate terminology (e.g., 'negative increase'). While the response identifies the four sectors, it lacks the necessary analytical depth to compare them effectively. The data points provided are often confusing or contradictory, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends over the 60-year period. To improve, you should focus on grouping data logically and providing a clear, concise overview of the most significant changes observed in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. The paragraphing is inconsistent, with some paragraphs consisting of only one or two sentences, which disrupts the flow of information. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and often incorrect way (e.g., 'First of all' is repeated unnecessarily, and 'Therefore' is used inappropriately). There is no clear progression of ideas, and the relationship between the sentences is often unclear. To improve, you should use a standard structure: an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group related sectors or trends. Use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic descriptors that do not accurately convey the trends in the data. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'negative increase' and 'bad terms,' which hinder clarity. Additionally, there are several spelling errors, such as 'beggining' and 'experinced.' To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a steady decline,' and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the manufacturing has'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence fragments. The range of grammatical structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. Complex structures are attempted but are often faulty, leading to confusion. For example, 'It shows good result highest percentage at first and end with bad terms' is grammatically incoherent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and practicing the use of complex sentences with appropriate conjunctions and relative clauses.

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