Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This graph show the jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone].

First of all manufacturing job increase 15 millions in 1960, and continues decrease in 1980 to 2020.

on the other hand retail job 5 millions is continue towards 1960 to 2020. it is a very great performance in ratail jobs. in addition agriculture job increase 2.5 million from 1960 to 2020 is same point of agriculture job, beacause these two job continue towards on the same year with same point.

However healthcare job is also start from 5 million like as retail job but disappoint it decrease in 1980 and remain same till one year, and after that it slightly decrease after one year instead of increase.

Jobs is a vital role for every country economy, and agriculture is a back bone of every country, In developed country agriculture is very strong

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is largely inaccurate in its interpretation of the data. For example, the claim that healthcare jobs 'decrease in 1980' is not supported by standard trends in such data, and the description of the trends is confusing and lacks a clear overview. The inclusion of personal opinions about the 'backbone' of the economy is irrelevant to an Academic Task 1 report, which should focus strictly on describing the provided data. The response lacks the necessary analytical depth to identify main features or make meaningful comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. While there are attempts at paragraphing, the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are used incorrectly or are missing, such as the confusing use of 'First of all' and 'on the other hand' which do not effectively link the data points. The final paragraph introduces irrelevant information that does not follow from the previous analysis, further disrupting the coherence of the response. Referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended meaning.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'job', failing to use a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'surge', 'plateau'). There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'disappoint it decrease' and 'ratail jobs'. The lack of variety and the frequent misuse of terms prevent the student from conveying information with any degree of precision or sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This graph show', 'agriculture job increase'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, and the basic sentences provided are frequently marred by errors in punctuation and word order. These persistent errors make the text difficult to read and understand.

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