Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four different sectors in USA between 1960 and 2020.
In manufacturing sector, the number of jobs in 1960 were 15 million which rose to 20 million in 1980. After that, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector fell around 17 million in 2000. The number of jobs were around 13 million in 2020. In retail sector, the number of jobs were approximately 6 million in1960, and was around 10 million in 1980. In 2000 the number of jobs were around 15 million. In 2020 these numbers were around 16 million. The agriculture sector had around 6 million in 1960 which fell around 3 million in 1980 and remained almost stable until 2000. These numbers fell further around 2 million in 2020. The healthcare sector had approximately 2 million jobs in 1960 which rose to million in 1980. The number of jobs keeps growing and reached around 11 million in 2000. Then rose to approximately 16 million in 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare sector keeps increasing over the period while the agriculture sector faced a slight decline from 1960 throughout the period. Moreover, the manufacturing sector first increased in number of jobs and then decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the start, end, and key turning points. However, the report lacks a clear analytical approach. While you have selected key features, the presentation is largely a list of data points rather than a synthesis of trends. To reach a higher band, you should group information more effectively—for example, contrasting the declining sectors (agriculture/manufacturing) with the growing ones (healthcare/retail). The overview is present but could be more detailed by highlighting the most significant shifts, such as the dramatic rise of the healthcare sector compared to the steady decline in agriculture.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the data, and an overview. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures and basic transition phrases like 'In [sector] sector' or 'In [year]'. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is clear, but the lack of varied linking words makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Using more sophisticated referencing (e.g., 'the former', 'the latter', 'this figure') would improve the cohesion significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You frequently repeat phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'around'. While the terminology related to the graph is accurate, there is little attempt to use less common lexical items or synonyms to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted', or 'gradual increase'). To improve, try to vary your verbs and nouns to describe the data more dynamically. For example, instead of 'rose to', you could use 'witnessed a surge to' or 'climbed to'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement and articles. For instance, you wrote 'the number of jobs were' (should be 'was') and 'in manufacturing sector' (missing 'the'). Additionally, there are missing words, such as 'rose to million' (missing the number). While you use some complex structures, they are often marred by these small errors. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that you are using articles correctly before nouns. The majority of your sentences are simple, so incorporating more complex sentence structures would also help your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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