Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides data on jobs available in four different sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing field had highest number of jobs until 2000. However, Retail and Agriculture initially had same number of jobs which gradually deviated in opposite directions, where job available in Retail and Healthcare were equal in 2020 and replaced the manufacturing sector for providing highest number of employment.

To begin with, only the manufacturing companies had provided around 20 millions of jobs in the year 1980. Unfortunately, after that year manufacturing showed a decline and reached below the mark of 15 millions jobs. On the other side, Retail sector has shown a steady rise by reaching above 15 millions together with Healthcare.

Whereas, agriculture showed a steady fall with only less than 5 million jobs by the year 2020.

To conclude, Healthcare and retail had positive growth in term of job availability, but agriculture showed a negative growth. Also, manufacturing provided highest number of jobs but, faced a downfall after the year 1980.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you mention 'around 20 millions' for manufacturing in 1980, but the graph shows this peak occurred earlier, around 1970. Additionally, the claim that retail and healthcare were equal in 2020 is not fully supported by the visual data, which shows distinct differences. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the years and values on the axes. While the key features are highlighted, the lack of accuracy in specific data points prevents a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, overview, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other side', and 'Whereas' to link ideas. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of 'Whereas' at the start of a sentence is grammatically incorrect in this context. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different sectors, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. Further practice in using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring they are used correctly will enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'deviated', 'steady rise', and 'downfall'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing field had highest number' (missing articles) and 'in term of' (should be 'in terms of'). You also repeat the phrase 'number of jobs' frequently. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and pay closer attention to article usage and pluralization, such as '15 millions jobs', which should be '15 million jobs'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Common issues include missing articles ('the manufacturing field', 'the retail sector'), incorrect pluralization ('20 millions'), and subject-verb agreement errors. For example, 'job available in Retail and Healthcare were equal' should be 'jobs available... were equal'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding articles and plural forms, and aim for more complex sentence structures that are error-free.

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