Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The bar graphs illustrate the information about the number of jobs in different four sectors economic in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it shows the past 60 years economy records of US like manifaturing, retail, Agriculture,and health care. Whileas manifacturing is rapidlely grow in 1990 about 20% and its also slightly decrease in 2020.Generally retail in 1960 is about 5% rapidely grow 1990 and after that its slightly low in 2020.

In the contest of Agriculture in 1960 its about 3% and 1960 about 5% after that in 2020 it is directly high abou 15%. In additation healthcare is 1960 5 % and its decrease by 3% in 1990 after that in 2003 to 2020 is constant. Retail and healthcare both are same in 1960 but retail is growing phase and health care is decreasing phase it is different about 12% in 60 years.And other whise retail is 5% and agriculture is 3% in 1960 but after 60 years both are same in 2020 about 15%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task by summarizing the provided data. However, the information presented is frequently inaccurate or contradictory to the graph. For example, you state that manufacturing grew rapidly in 1990 to 20%, but the graph shows a decline. Furthermore, the description of the trends is confusing and lacks a clear overview of the main features. The data points mentioned (e.g., '1960 about 5%') are often unclear or misread. To improve, focus on accurately identifying the starting and ending points and describing the overall trends (e.g., upward or downward) rather than listing individual, often incorrect, figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is difficult to follow. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical or misused, such as 'Whileas' and 'In the contest of'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard to determine which sector is being discussed at any given time. The transition between sentences is abrupt, and the lack of logical flow between the overview and the body paragraphs hinders the reader's ability to grasp the information presented.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'manifaturing', 'manifacturing', 'rapidlely', 'In additation', and 'other whise'. These errors, combined with awkward word choices like 'directly high' and 'growing phase', impede the clarity of the report. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') and ensure accurate spelling of basic terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it shows the past 60 years economy records'), incorrect preposition usage, and sentence structure problems. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and improving punctuation before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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