Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors - manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare, of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that retail and healthcare showed upward trend the period, while agriculture generally declined, manufacturing experienced noticeable growth including a significant drop.
The number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960. This figure increased to 20 millions in 1980, while it decreased significantly to around 14 millions n 2020. In retail sector 6 millions jobs were available in 1960. This value rose to 15 millions in 2000, which remained relatively close to 15 millions until 2020.
The number of jobs in healthcare was around 2 millions in 1960. There was a significant increase in the value of, which reached same as retail almost 15 millions in 2020. Moreover, the number of Jons in agriculture was nearly 5 millions in 1960, which experienced decline to 3 millions in 1980. This figure remained relatively stable throughout the period with minor change, final value was around 2 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you mentioned manufacturing experienced 'noticeable growth including a significant drop,' which is a bit contradictory and vague. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly captures the most significant trends without internal contradictions. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of manufacturing trends could be more precise regarding the timeline of the peak and subsequent decline.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall,' 'In addition,' and 'while,' which help the flow of information. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'There was a significant increase in the value of, which reached same as retail.' This creates a slight disruption in the reading process. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'upward trend,' 'significant increase,' and 'relatively stable.' However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'number of Jons' (a typo for 'jobs'). Additionally, the phrasing 'reached same as retail almost 15 millions' is awkward and lacks precision. To improve, focus on using pluralization correctly with numbers and refining your collocations to sound more natural in an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('In retail sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('increase in the value of, which'), and issues with pluralization ('15 millions'). These errors occur frequently enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the data. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed without missing components.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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