Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered line graph illustrates the information about how many work opportunities are in different sectors of economy in America during 1960 to 2020. The data is calibrated in millions.
After taking satistical data into account,it may infer that the highest number of jobs were in manufacturing which was noticed as 15 millions during 1960 , followed by the count of occupation were in retail and agriculture with 6 millions.However , only 2 million individuals work in healthcare during same year.In addition to this, jobs in manufacturing increase modestly from 15 million to 20 million in 1980 and start declining from 20 million to 13 million during 2020.
Turning towards the rest of the details , it can be clearly seen that the work opportunities in retail were rose moderately with 10 millions from 1960 and 2020 in US . Moreover,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some key features of the graph, such as the initial figures for manufacturing and the trends for retail, the response is incomplete and cuts off abruptly. You have not provided a summary of all four sectors, nor have you made sufficient comparisons between them. To improve, ensure you cover all data points presented in the graph and provide a clear overview of the main trends. The current response is too brief to fully address the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response shows some attempt at logical organization, using phrases like 'After taking statistical data into account' and 'Turning towards the rest of the details'. However, the abrupt ending and lack of a concluding summary disrupt the flow of information. Paragraphing is present but underdeveloped due to the unfinished nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used, but they are somewhat mechanical. To improve, focus on creating a more structured approach with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that group information logically, and a concluding overview that synthesizes the main trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. Phrases like 'work opportunities' and 'count of occupation' are somewhat repetitive and could be replaced with more specific terminology like 'employment figures' or 'job sectors'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'it may infer' instead of 'it can be inferred'. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. For example, 'the work opportunities in retail were rose' is incorrect; it should be 'rose' or 'increased'. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'jobs in manufacturing increase' (should be 'increased'). While you attempt some complex sentence structures, the frequent errors in tense and word form suggest a need for more careful proofreading. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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