Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the line graph compares the number of occupations in four sectors of the us industry from 1960 tp 2020.

overall, manufacturing dominated in the number of workers, while the opposite was true for healthcare.

Additionally, the numbers staffs who worked in the healthcare and retails increased over the period, whereas manufacturing agriculture experienced decreases.

starting with the categories, which was seen significant drop, in 1960, manufacturing started at 15 million workers.. despite moderate growth to 20 million in 1980, it fell suddenly yo about 13 million in 2020. similarly, the number of staff in agriculture was recorded at almost 6 million people om 1960. however, it declined smoothly to approximately 3 million.

turning to other sectors that increased, retail stood at roughly 6 million workers at the beginning of the year. it climbed dramatically to about 16 million. although healthcare possessed around 3 million once,it rose considerably to 16 million on it .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that 'manufacturing dominated' is true for the start of the period, but it ignores that retail and healthcare eventually surpassed it. The data reporting is generally clear, though some figures are imprecise (e.g., 'about 13 million' for 2020). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview captures the most significant shifts across the entire timeframe rather than just the initial state.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'similarly', 'turning to', and 'although', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'the categories, which was seen significant drop'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing for the description of trends (e.g., 'climbed dramatically', 'declined smoothly'). However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'the numbers staffs', 'possessed around 3 million once', and 'on it'. These errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for data trends and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in their correct forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the numbers staffs... increased'), punctuation errors (double periods), and awkward phrasing ('which was seen significant drop'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are persistent and affect the overall fluency of the writing. Increasing the accuracy of basic sentence construction and proofreading for minor slips would significantly improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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