Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides statistics about the various jobs in four different sectors of the economy such as, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing shared the highest jobs in terms of millions Healthcare made up the lowest shares in 1960.
The manufacturing accounted for the largest shares in 1990 which is 20 millions but declined steadly, in 2000 and 2020 respectively, 12 millions and 6 millions. Retail in 1960 around 5.3 millions and surged slowly, in 1990 exparianced 15 millions and in 2020 reached approximately 15.3 millions. Similarly, agriculture stabled with retail in 1960 which is 5.3 millions although, agriculture dipped over the years, in year of 2020 about 4 millions.
Healthcare in 1960 shared 4 millions and experienced a sharp soar over the years. Healthcare made up 5 millions in 1960 and 10.2 millions in 2000 and in 2020 the jobs was shared about 15.2 millions same as retail in the same year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped and contains some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the statement that healthcare made up 5 million in 1960 contradicts the earlier mention of 4 million. Additionally, the comparison between sectors is sometimes confusing, such as the claim that agriculture 'stabled' with retail. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends and that all data points are accurately transcribed from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as the phrase 'in year of 2020'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between sentences could be smoother. The referencing is sometimes repetitive, and the lack of varied linking words makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the use of cohesive devices like 'consequently', 'whereas', or 'in contrast' would help the response achieve a more natural flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several instances of imprecise word choice and spelling errors, such as 'steadly' instead of 'steadily', 'exparianced' instead of 'experienced', and 'stabled' used incorrectly to mean 'remained stable'. While the student uses some sector-specific terminology, the lack of precision in describing trends (e.g., 'shared the highest jobs') limits the score. To improve, focus on using more accurate collocations for describing data, such as 'accounted for the largest proportion' or 'experienced a significant upward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the manufacturing shared the highest jobs' (incorrect verb usage) and 'the jobs was shared about 15.2 millions' (subject-verb agreement and preposition errors). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage in lists and clauses. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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