Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the knowledge about the jobs acquired in four fiscal sectors over the sixty-year period ending at 2020. The y-axis has the figures in millions.

Overall, the jobs in manufacturing sector got the highest number. On the other hand retail and agriculture showed gradual and steady graph line while healthcare secured the lowest position on the line graph.

With 15 million jobs in the year 1960, manufacturing reached the highest point to 20 million by 1980. The sector saw unexpected decline and stayed between 10 to 15 million jobs afterwards till 2020. Retail, however, started at 5 million in 1960 but kept the tortoise's pace and exceeded the manufacturing by 2020.

Moving on, agriculture began at around 2.5-3 million jobs in 1960. It later followed retail and met the number secured by the same in 2020. Healthcare remained a declining economical sector throughout the period. It started at a bit above 5 million mark but ended at around 2-2.5 million jobs only by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

You have identified the main features and trends of the four sectors, which is a positive start. However, there are significant inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare 'remained a declining economical sector' and ended at 2-2.5 million, whereas the graph shows it as the sector with the most significant growth, ending well above 15 million. Additionally, you claim agriculture and retail 'met the number' in 2020, but the graph indicates they remain distinct. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that the data points selected are factually accurate and that comparisons are based on the actual visual information provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'However', and 'Moving on' to transition between ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes hindered by the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, the phrase 'met the number secured by the same' is clunky and mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your referencing is precise and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, though it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use some topic-specific terms like 'fiscal sectors' and 'economical sector', but there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'tortoise's pace' and 'secured the lowest position'. These expressions are not entirely appropriate for an academic report. To improve, focus on using more formal, precise language to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'experienced a downward trend', rather than relying on informal metaphors or imprecise descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'the jobs in manufacturing sector got the highest number' (should be 'the manufacturing sector had the highest number') and 'the graph illustrates the knowledge about the jobs acquired' (which is semantically confusing). There are also minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your sentence constructions are grammatically sound and formal in tone.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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