Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates information about the number of employment opertunities in four economy sectors -manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare- of United States over the time period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall manufacturing sector remained the most daominant with higher oppertunities, while retail and healthcare has also grown immensively and agriculture faced a dip during this time.
Retail sector stood at 6 million jobs in 1960 which raised to 10 million in 1980 and grown to 15 milllion by 2000 and slightly increased and ended up at 16 millions in 2020. However, healthcare sector was standing at 2.5 million positions which raised to 5 million by 1980 and then sky rocketed to reach 16 million by the end of 2020.
The agriculture sector began with 6 million jobs and fell down to 4 million by 1980 and slightly decreased till 2020. Manufacturing sector, the most famous one started at 15 million jobs in 1960 and jumped to 20 million in 1980 and dramatically fell down under 15 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. You successfully highlighted the dominance of the manufacturing sector and the significant growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you described manufacturing as the 'most dominant' throughout, but the data shows healthcare overtaking it by 2020. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is a bit vague, as you mention it 'dramatically fell' without specifying the end point. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant shifts (e.g., the crossover between sectors) and provide more precise data points for the final year to ensure all parts of the task are fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors. There is a clear progression from the introduction to the overview and then to the body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'while', which help link ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. For example, the final paragraph jumps between sectors abruptly. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is clearly signposted to improve the flow of your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dominant', 'immensely', and 'sky rocketed'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'opertunities', 'daominant', 'oppertunities', and 'milllion', which detract from the quality of the writing. Additionally, some word choices are slightly informal or imprecise, such as 'most famous one' to describe a sector. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling accuracy and try to incorporate more precise academic collocations related to data description, such as 'experienced a significant decline' rather than 'fell down'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail and healthcare has also grown') and article usage (e.g., 'of United States'). There are also issues with preposition usage and tense consistency. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure consistent use of past tenses when describing historical data trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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