Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates, how employment in the four sectors of US changed from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the most change that took place was in manufacturing, where the job market till 1980 was rising but after that the numbers crashed. Retail and healthcare rose uniformly well and agriculture stayed stable over the years.

Manufacturing from 1960 started with 15 million jobs available and till 1980 rose to 20 million but after that saw a rapid decline in number which was approximately 13 million.

Healthcare and Retail sector saw a increase in jobs. The growth of healthcare started from approximately 2 million and than rose to 5 million in 1960 and constantly increased to just over 15 million, similarly retail sector started the rise in 1960 from just over 5 million to right about the same amount as healthcare sector in 2020.

The Agricultural sector was fairly stable from 1980 to 2020 but receded from just over 5 million to around 4 million in 1980 and later declined to around 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention the 'most change' occurred in manufacturing, you could improve by explicitly contrasting the upward trend of service-based sectors with the downward trend of the others. Some data points are slightly imprecise, such as stating manufacturing declined to 'approximately 13 million' without specifying the year, which makes the comparison less clear. To reach a higher band, ensure that all key features are supported by specific data points and that the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition between sentences could be smoother; phrases like 'similarly' and 'after that' are used, but more varied linking words would improve the flow. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes slightly unclear, such as in the paragraph regarding healthcare and retail, where the sentence structure becomes a bit cluttered, making it harder to follow the comparison between the two sectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'employment', 'uniformly', and 'receded'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'the most change that took place' is slightly awkward; 'the most significant change' would be more natural. Additionally, 'rose uniformly well' is not a standard collocation in this context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, there is a lack of more sophisticated or precise terminology that would be expected at a higher band level. Spelling is generally accurate, but the range of vocabulary remains somewhat limited.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'The line graph illustrates, how...' (unnecessary comma) and 'saw a increase' (should be 'an increase'). The phrase 'than rose to 5 million' contains a spelling error ('than' instead of 'then'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on article usage (e.g., 'the retail sector') and ensure that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and prepositional phrases.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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