Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides data regarding number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Healthcare and Retail sector are observed to grow at rapid pace. In contrast, the other two sectors experience slight fluctuations. During the years 1960 and 1980, it can be observed that healthcare industry grew marginally from 2.5million jobs to double of that. While, agriculture and retail industries are experiencing contrast between them as agriculture sector generated 6million jobs at the threshold but agriculture sector fell gradually to 4 million jobs.Whereas, retail spiked to 10 million jobs creation. Manufacturing sector started at 15 million jobs, experiencing a high level of creation at the beginning and again soared to 20 million jobs creation by 1980 in 20 years.

By the year 2000 and 2020, healthcare sector skyrocketed to 11 million and further 17.5 million job creations. Whereas, Agriculture sector plateaued and then experienced slight fluctuations from to 2.5million and fluctuated to 2 million jobs. While retail industry was skyrocketing growing to 15 million and further slightly rising to 16 million. On the contrary, Manufacturing sector plummeted to 17 million jobs to further decline to 14million jobs, respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlight the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise; for example, stating that agriculture 'fell gradually to 4 million' while the graph shows a different trajectory requires more careful checking. Additionally, some figures are presented in a confusing manner, such as 'double of that' or 'threshold', which lacks the clarity required for a high band. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are made more explicitly between the sectors at specific time intervals.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices like 'In contrast', 'Whereas', and 'On the contrary' to link ideas. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the sentence structure in the second paragraph is slightly repetitive, and the use of 'respectively' at the end of the final sentence is grammatically incorrect as it does not refer back to a list of two or more items. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used naturally would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'skyrocketed', 'plateaued', 'plummeted', and 'fluctuations'. However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'job creations' (which should be 'job creation' or 'number of jobs') and 'at the threshold'. The repetition of 'creation' and 'jobs' throughout the text limits the sophistication of your lexical range. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same nouns and verbs in close proximity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Healthcare and Retail sector are observed' (missing articles), 'While, agriculture and retail industries are experiencing' (incorrect comma usage), and 'from to 2.5million' (missing data point). The tense usage is generally consistent, but the lack of articles and inconsistent preposition use (e.g., 'in 20 years') detracts from the accuracy. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your score.

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