Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given chart depicts the information about the number of jobs from selective sectors that employed people between the period of 1960 and 2020 in the United States. The four sectors of the economy that are considered here are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare respectively. As per the graph, the X-axis represent year and Y-axis represent number of jobs in million. The largest increase among the four sectors were found in manufacturing which attained its peak in 1980 with a count of 20 million jobs for people and decreased gradually over the years from the late 1980's till 2020.
Likewise, minimum number of jobs were found in the agriculture sector. It provided large number of jobs in 1960 and decreases over the years. The other two sectors that is retail and healthcare increased parallelly in the number of jobs provided. Notably, in the years 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020, there is fluctuation in the number of jobs in the each sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the statement that manufacturing 'attained its peak in 1980' is accurate, but the description of the other sectors lacks detail. The claim that agriculture 'decreases over the years' is a broad generalization that misses the specific data points provided. Furthermore, the assertion that there is 'fluctuation' in every sector is not supported by the visual evidence, which shows relatively smooth trends. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific data points (e.g., approximate figures for 1960 and 2020) and ensure your comparisons are more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into two paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a short report. There is a clear introduction and a body paragraph. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'Likewise' and 'The other two sectors' are used to transition, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'the each sector' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical progression of the summary. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clearer pronoun referencing would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors such as 'large number' and 'increased'. While you successfully use terms like 'sectors', 'economy', and 'fluctuation', there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'increased parallelly' and 'the each sector'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'significant decline', or 'remained relatively stable'. Additionally, ensure that your word forms are correct to avoid minor errors that slightly distract the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('X-axis represent', 'Y-axis represent', 'largest increase... were found'), incorrect use of articles ('in the each sector'), and punctuation errors ('1980's' should be '1980s'). These errors occur frequently enough to be noticeable, although they do not completely impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural forms and articles in academic writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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