Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Task 1

The given line graph gives us information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020. The data has been calibrated in millions.

A cursory glance on the given line graph is adequate enough to reveal that the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was on peak in 1960. It was 15 million jobs however, it rose gradually in the first 20 years with an abrupt decline in the subsequent years. Moreover, the number of jobs in agricultural sector were around 6 million in 1960 but there was a however it dropped to only 3 million jobs in 2020.

Further, looking at the graph it can be seen that the number of jobs in healthcare sector were around 3 million in 1960. It jumped dramatically to 16 million in 2020. Apart from this there were 6 approximately 6 million jobs in retail sector in 1960 which inclined marginally to 16 million jobs in 2020.

Overall, it can be demonstrate that retail and healthcare sector had a rising trend while mas agriculture sector saw a falling trend. However there were fluctuations in the case of manufacturing sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you state manufacturing peaked in 1960 at 15 million, but the graph shows it peaking later, around 1980. Additionally, the description of the retail sector as 'inclining marginally' to 16 million is inaccurate, as the graph shows a significant, steady rise. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in reporting the data points and trends prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the visual data provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the sectors, and a summary. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Further,' 'Apart from this,' and 'Overall,' which help the flow. However, there are some mechanical errors in cohesion, such as the fragmented sentence 'but there was a however it dropped' in the second paragraph, which disrupts the logical progression. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information, but the transition between ideas could be smoother to achieve a more professional academic tone.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'calibrated,' 'abrupt decline,' and 'fluctuations.' However, there are some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'cursory glance on' (should be 'at'), 'was on peak' (should be 'peaked'), and 'it can be demonstrate' (should be 'demonstrated'). These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight a need for more precise control over academic phrasing. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and adverbs would help elevate the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('number of jobs... were' instead of 'was') and awkward phrasing ('it can be demonstrate'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure in the second paragraph is broken. While you attempt complex sentences, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and tense usage suggests a need for more careful proofreading. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

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