Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the data on the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from the year 1960 to the year 2020 in the Unites States. Units are given in millions.
Overall, a positive growth could be noticed in the retail and the healthcare sectors in the economy, whereas, the manufacturing sector first went up and then kept on decreasing and lastly, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector had gone through steady fall.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector was popular among the jobs of the US having 15 millions in number which grew until 1980, which had the highest number of jobs among the four sectors over the 60 years with 20 millions. However, the value kept dropping up to the year 2020. On the contrary, even though the lowest number of jobs was recorded in 1960 in the healthcare sector (less than 5 millions), the number soon had a steady rise until 2020 which was the highest number of jobs in the year 2020 (around 15 millions).
Next, the retail and the agriculture sectors started off equally with 6 millions approximately. Interestingly, the number of jobs in the retail sector had a sharp rise up to 15 millions in 2020 and the number didn't grow much for the next 20 years. On the other hand, the agriculture sector kept on lagging behind as the year went by. The number was almost 2 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main growth patterns and made relevant comparisons, such as contrasting the rise of healthcare with the decline of agriculture. However, the description of the retail sector is slightly confusing; you mention a 'sharp rise' to 15 million but then state it 'didn't grow much for the next 20 years', which is not clearly supported by the data trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are precise and that your analysis of the trends is consistently accurate throughout the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'on the contrary', and 'on the other hand' to link ideas effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between the retail and agriculture analysis in the final paragraph could be smoother. Overall, the information is presented in a clear, logical progression that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'steady fall', and 'lagging behind'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'popular among the jobs' (which is not a natural collocation) and '15 millions' (the plural 's' is unnecessary when preceded by a number). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some phrasing remains slightly awkward. Increasing your use of precise collocations related to data trends would help elevate your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'a positive growth could be noticed' (passive voice is slightly clunky here), '15 millions' (incorrect pluralization), and 'the number soon had a steady rise' (should be 'experienced' or 'showed'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article issues throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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