Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.

The first look reveals that jobs in retails shops stood at nearly 6 millions jobs in 1960, which inclined gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 millions jobs, whereas jobs in healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 millions jobs in 2020.

The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in agriculture sectors at nearly 6 millions jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 millions of jobs, while manufacturing sectors has highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 millions jobs.

The overall look clears that in the beginning manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the dominance of manufacturing in 1960 and the significant rise in healthcare. However, the report could be improved by providing more precise comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals. While you mention the start and end points, the description of the trends is sometimes repetitive in structure. To reach a higher band, ensure that you group the data more logically to highlight the relationships between the sectors rather than listing them individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the data, and a summary. The use of cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'while', and 'however' helps to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'The first look reveals' and 'The closer look shows' are a bit informal and repetitive. Using a wider variety of linking phrases to connect the trends would improve the flow and coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'inclined gradually', 'sharply rose', and 'fluctuating trend'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'accounted a final figure' (should be 'accounted for') and 'at meagre 2 million' (missing a verb). Additionally, the repetition of 'jobs' throughout the text limits your score. To improve, try to use synonyms like 'employment figures', 'positions', or 'workforce numbers' to avoid redundancy and demonstrate a more flexible range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and prepositions. For instance, 'accounted a final figure' lacks the preposition 'for', and 'manufacturing sectors has highest jobs' contains subject-verb agreement errors. There are also issues with pluralisation, such as '1 millions of jobs'. To achieve a higher band, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage, and aim for more error-free complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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