Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in retails shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in agriculture sectors at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 million of jobs, while manufacturing sectors has highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'accounted a final figure' or 'noted a final figure' is slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, ensure you compare the sectors more effectively rather than listing them individually. The overview is present but could be more integrated into the body paragraphs to show a stronger grasp of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a summary. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'The first look reveals', 'The closer look shows', 'The overall look clears'). Using a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases would improve the flow. Additionally, some sentences are slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the description of the sectors and the final summary. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices will help the text read more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'fluctuating trend', 'declined marginally', and 'dominated'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'accounted a final figure' (should be 'accounted for') and 'at meagre 2 million' (missing a verb). The phrase 'The overall look clears' is also non-standard. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs and ensuring that your collocations are natural. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated descriptors for trends would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with verb usage and prepositions. For example, 'jobs in healthcare at meagre 2 million' lacks a main verb, and 'manufacturing sectors has highest jobs' should be 'had the highest number of jobs'. There are also issues with article usage and pluralization (e.g., 'in retail shops' vs 'in the retail sector'). Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.