Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in retail shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in agriculture sector at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 million jobs, while manufacturing sector has highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. You successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks a clear overview of the data. While you have a concluding paragraph, an effective overview should be placed immediately after the introduction to summarize the most significant trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors). Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, and the comparison between sectors could be more analytical rather than just listing figures. To improve, ensure you synthesize the information rather than just describing each line individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'while', and 'however' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'The closer look shows' is a bit informal for an Academic Task 1 response. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother. Using more sophisticated referencing (e.g., 'this trend', 'the former', 'the latter') would improve the cohesion of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'increased gradually', 'sharply rose', and 'declined marginally'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'accounted a final figure' is not standard usage; 'reached a final figure of' or 'accounted for' would be more accurate. Similarly, 'manufacture sectors' should be 'manufacturing sector'. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. Focus on using more academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing to enhance your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. For example, 'jobs in healthcare at meagre 2 million' is missing a verb, and 'manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market' lacks necessary articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the job market'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding articles and verb forms, and try to incorporate more varied complex sentence structures with fewer errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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