Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of employments in four sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US. The time period between 1960 to 2020.
Overall it is evident that jobs in agriculture sector increased dramatically. moreover a similar trend can be observe in Retail sectors also. In contrast significant declined in number of jobs can be observe in Manufacturing and healthcare sectors.
Looking in the details employment an healthcare sector rose significantly that is approximately from 2million to 15million from 1960 to 2020 respectively. Furthermore jobs in Retail sector increased sharply from around 5million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020.
Over the period of time job in manufacturing sector was roughly 15million in 1960 them jumped slightly to 20 million in 1980 but from 20th centuries decreased drastically to around 14 million in 2020. Meanwhile a slant rise can be seen in Agricultural sector roughly 5 million in 1960 but after in 1980 fall up to 2 million and after that no significant changes can be observe .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, you state that agriculture increased dramatically, whereas the graph shows a decline from 5 million to 2 million. Similarly, you claim healthcare declined, when it actually shows a clear upward trend. These factual errors mean the overview is not accurate and the key features are not correctly identified. While you cover all four sectors, the misinterpretation of the data prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore'. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the second paragraph starts with 'moreover' without proper capitalization, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is slightly abrupt. The referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression is occasionally disrupted by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. Using a wider variety of linking words would improve the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'dramatically', 'sharply', and 'drastically'. However, there are some word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'number of employments' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels') and 'slant rise' (should be 'slight rise'). There are also minor spelling or grammatical slips, such as '20th centuries' instead of 'the 20th century'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('jobs... was', 'changes can be observe'), missing articles ('in healthcare sector'), and incorrect preposition usage. The sentence structure is often repetitive, and the punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with capitalization at the start of sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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