Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in the retail shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in the agriculture sector at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 millions jobs, while manufacturing sector has highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, relying on a list-like approach rather than synthesising the data effectively. The overview is present but lacks a clear focus on the most significant trends, such as the dramatic growth of the healthcare sector compared to the decline in agriculture. While the key features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of the manufacturing sector as having a 'fluctuating trend' is a slight oversimplification of the provided data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical (e.g., 'The first look', 'The closer look', 'The overall look'). The flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs', which lacks a preposition. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transition between ideas could be smoother to improve the overall readability and logical progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'accounted a final figure' (should be 'accounted for') and 'meagre 2 million jobs' (which is grammatically incomplete). The phrase 'jobs in the retail shops' is slightly unnatural; 'retail sector' would be more appropriate. While the student successfully uses terms like 'declined marginally' and 'sharply rose', the overall lexical control is limited, preventing a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, 'jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million' is missing a verb, and 'manufacturing sector has highest jobs' lacks an article. There are also issues with pluralization, such as '1 millions jobs'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors—particularly with articles, prepositions, and verb forms—prevents the response from reaching a higher band. More attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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